Why, as a mother do I feel constantly guilty? Is it the social pressure put on parents to be this perfect human who can cope with every little thing life throws at them without falling apart just a little bit. Even though that is not reality and we’re all very aware of it, why do we still have this huge pressure put upon as to be in this perfect parent box, and if we leave that box we are riddled with guilt.
Well the truth is I am falling apart and I am riddled with guilt constantly. I feel guilty for shouting, nagging, expecting more, for wanting to have an hour away, for working, for not being able to do what I want to do when I want to do it, for not ‘loving’ them enough, for not ‘providing’ for them enough, I could go on and on. Most of these feelings of guilt come from totally made up scenario’s (hello anxiety) and the rest is what I presume just happens when you become a mother. And I say mother as that’s what I am, I am more capable of speaking on behalf of mothers and women but that does not mean I don’t validate fathers and male opinions.
I love my kids more than anything and I would literally die for them, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want just 5 minutes peace every now and then. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, some days can just be so overwhelming I feel like my life is falling apart around me, I’m struggling to look after myself so how do I look after 2 other humans, well 3 including my husband and we may as well throw the dog into the mix as well. I have a house full of people who are reliant on me and I also need to hold down a full time job, run errands, look after a house and live life to the full, I just can’t! No one told me it was going to be so hard!
So there it is, life is not all that, its f**king hard work and I’m drowning. I don’t write this for sympathy, I write this to let others know they are not alone.
No-one Told Me 